Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by...

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving
from where you left them to where you can't find them.
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Rivers are damp.
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give.
Gas smells awful--
You might as well live!
-- Dorothy Parker, "Resume", 1926
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